We Met Online
by Angelas
Summary: Sasuke's bored on his new laptop. In a desperate attempt to amuse himself, he creates a fake profile on a teen dating site posing as a girl. Little did he know that his little antic would then lead to so much more. SasuNaru


**I've always meant to write something like this. Probably chose to at the wrong moment, though.. xD Anywayss.**

**I disclaim. Naruto does not constantly beg Sasuke to bone him. Therefore. Not mine. :D haha~**

**Onwards!**

**oOo**

Sasuke was bored shitless.

The holidays had just ended, and he was ravaged with gifts he never wanted, or even asked for.

His dad thought it would've been a wonderful idea to get him a stack of Xbox 360 games when he never even_ had_ a 360. A doubtful promise of a car was also mentioned. Fugaku said that every year, though. So Sasuke knew better than to believe his father on such a thing.

His mom, Sasuke knew, still lingered on the illusion that he hadn't hit puberty yet. Which must have been the reason for the stupid race cars, stupid collectible action figures from cartoons he'd worshipped in the past, a stupid ant farm (which would soon be disposed of in the backyard, now that he thought about it), and stupid clothes that he knew he would_ never_ even_ think_ of wearing. Ever.

The only thing that stopped him from slitting his wrists that Christmas was the gift Itachi had given him.

Itachi was only home during the holidays, and he would only stay at the house for a few days before he flew off to college again. Sasuke liked when his brother visited. But only because every time he did, he'd get something ridiculously expensive and _cool_.

Last year it was a 32 gigabyte iPhone. The year before was the precious Ps3 that Sasuke had sworn eternal loyalty to, and the year before that one, he got a 72" flat screen with internally enabled cable and_ Netflix_. The list went on.

This year, however, he got a laptop.

A beautiful, sleek, shiny, formidably expensive,_ fucking_ awesome laptop.

But even the impossible beauty of his new piece of advanced technology wasn't enough to ease Sasuke's boredom that Friday night.

He had been surfing the Internet aimlessly, clicking away at whatever google results seemed promising enough to pass by the hours.

He had dreadfully read through some stuff on politics, articles on upcoming videogames he was_ dying_ to get, random fact sites, lost dog ads, until, finally, a certain pop-up window filled the screen out of nowhere.

Sasuke raised a very bored eyebrow, taking the spare time to read the annoying thing:

**Meet your teen match NOW!**

**Sign up for our free dating site, and receive the first 3 months at no cost!**

**Limited time offer!**

At first, Sasuke was immediately annoyed.

How dare the Internet think of him in such a lowly way.

He would never_ think_ of signing up for a such a stupid a thing. Let alone,_ pay_ for the stupid thing after 3 months. Crazy people. Crazy Internet.

He lifted his finger just above the mouse pad to close the offensive window, but just before he could make contact, a smirk slowly began to birth on his lips.

_He_ didn't have to be the one signing up for it, and _he_ certainly wouldn't be the one attempting to find love online. BUT, somebody_ else_ certainly could. A wonderful plan was in the making, and Sasuke quickly punched in the address that was advertised to him into the surf-bar.

Maybe if he fucked around with people online he wouldn't be so fucking bored anymore.

He could spend that Friday night away laughing at the gullibility of the stupid site's members for his own amusement. Yes. This would be fun. This would be the remedy to his boredom.

He was almost instantly taken to the website. Sasuke's eyes were skinned by the incredibly tacky color scheme. There was a picture of some guy advertising how he would 'never regret his decision on signing up', along with several others when he took the time to scroll down.

Jeez. These people sure were pathetic.

Who would _ever_ want to meet with a complete stranger online? Who would ever even_ want_ to talk to a stranger online? This was beyond Sasuke, and he held back the strong urge to glare at the screen.

After all, it was not his beautiful laptop's fault that people were incurably stupid.

Sticking to his initial goal of easing his boredom, he clicked on 'Sign Up'. He was then taken to a different screen which demanded his name, location, birthday, gender, among other heavily intrusive things that made Sasuke cringe at the thought of people actually giving away this sort of information just in hopes of getting laid.

Without really thinking much about it, he filled out the information, leaving the name for last.

He would have to think about that one. He had to come up with a really convincing name that would make people from the outer reaches of the world want to travel halfway across the globe just to bone him. Well, not necessarily _him_, in this case, but_ her_..

Yes. He was going to pose as a girl.

With a wild, amused smirk on his face, and a small, devious chuckle, he typed in the name 'Sakura Haruno'.

Hehe. This was gonna be great.

As for the birthday information, he deemed it harmless if he put in his own. Maybe the guys he managed 'seduce' would send him expensive gifts from across the world, and maybe, just _maybe_, he'd get his dream car.

After selling all the stupid gifts, that is.

Sasuke took a moment to admire his clever handiwork:

**Name:** Sakura Haruno (Yeah. Guys would dig that. Besides, she was some annoying girl from school that he could easily base his profile off of.)

**Birthday:** July 23

**Location:** London, England (Haha, as_ if_. Konoha was_ far_ from such a thing.)

**Profile Description:** Hi there! My name is Sakura. I enjoy long walkz on the beach, playing soccer, writing in my diary, puppiez, nd going out with my girlfriendz on Friday nightz. I'm a HUGE fan of Twilight, and all thingz Barbie. Team Edward 4EVERRR! like, omg! lolz

**Interests:** I really like painting my nailz, nd doing my hair every second of the day! Its just SO fun! like, omg!

**Hobbies:** Going out with friendzz! makeup, glitter, fashion, and OMG handbags! Pedicures are the best! americas next top model, paris hilton, the kardashians! like, omg, lol, their so cool!

Reading through it, Sasuke couldn't help but to laugh his ass off.

He was absolutely confident in his depiction of what an average 15 year old girl would be like, and he hardly looked back the moment he hit 'Submit'. He sat on his bed, anxious to see what would happen next.

The site then asked him to fill out a 'quick matching quiz' that would 'better his results' and 'bring him closer towards his true love'. Sasuke scoffed, This website was absolutely ridiculous, and he could hardly believe he was actually going to go through with his plan.

No worries, though, he reassured himsef. He would delete it within the next 2 days, anyway. He was only planning to have it up until his relentless boredom and weekend subsided. Afterwards, he would have no use for the stupid thing, and it would be deleted from the face of the earth. It was easy as pie.

He skimmed through the quiz, clicking on random answers until he was finally taken to his 'results'. He eyed the profile pictures of all the guys listed, and an amused chuckle escape him every time he recognized a few faces from his own school.

Neji Hyugga (was a surprising one), Rock Lee (not so surprising), Gaara Subaku (okay, now_ THAT_ one was quite the surprise), Choji Akimichi (not too much of a shocker).

There were several qualified candidates to choose from as he scrolled down through the 95 potential matches he'd received. After a few minutes of procrastination and amusement, Sasuke finally decided to go ahead and fuck with Gaara.

Suddenly, though, in the process of scrolling back up, his ebony eyes met with a flash of yellow that had flickered on the screen.

Sasuke leaned in towards his laptop, analyzing the small profile picture.

It was some guy named 'Naruto Uzumaki'.

There was a blinding tuft of yellow on his head, causing Sasuke's eyes to narrow from the intensity of the hue the screen was projecting. His profile picture depicted him holding what seemed to be a goddamned_ toad_ up to his face. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, completely confused on why someone would take a picture with a stupid fucking toad.

The stupidity of this one would just be far too amusing to pass up.

So amusing, in fact, that Sasuke chose to fuck with this 'Naruto' guy over his longtime nemesis. Bemused, Sasuke clicked on the profile, sealing the deal with the stupid website.

**Congratulations! You will now be taken to your potential mate's profile!**

Sasuke held back the strong urge to roll his eyes. This was going to be a shit load of fun.

Finally, the loading screen went away, and the profile of the blond toad-holder came into view. He crossed his arms as he read through the profile resting on the screen.

**Name:** Naruto Uzumaki

**Birthday:** October 10

**Location:** Berkley, California

**Profile Description:** HAI! Im Naruto! One day, I'm goin 2 be the president of the United Statezz! I really really really like ramen. Moviez, soccer, swimming, goin out with friends, and working on my presidential campaign! Dattebayo!

**Interests:** i like toads, and i also really really really really like playing the violin! my dad iruka taught me, nd he said i waz good enough to be a violinest someday! i also really like oranges.

**Hobbies:** swimmingg, violininggg, talkingg, and other stuff too!

Sasuke was left speechless.

How could someone manage to be so.. _stupid_?

He sighed, losing all faith in humanity as he brought himself to re-read the insanely unappealing profile. He wondered how the guy even managed to turn on a computer. Or how he even managed to spell 'campaign' correctly.

Nevertheless, the stupider this guy was, the funner it would be to fuck with him, Sasuke thought. This guy would believe_ anything._

With a coniving smirk growing on his face, Sasuke began to write out a message to this 'Naruto' guy. Sasuke could hardly believe he was actually going to seal the deal.

**Hi. I'm Sakura.**

**I read your profile, and you seem really cute and funny. I would love to get to know you. You should message me as soon as possible so we can talk!**

Sasuke sat back on his bed, a satisfied look on his face. He didn't have to wait for even a minute until a_ bing_ was heard from his laptop. He opened the message, and readied himself for the good laugh that would come next.

**Oh hai Sakura! im Naruto Uzumaki! :D**

**i read ur profile 2, and you sound really cute. you dont have a profile pictarr, tho! can you send me one so i can see you? i bet ur really pretty.**

Shit. Sasuke didn't think about that one.

Desperate for some sort of bright idea, he brought a pale hand underneath his chin, thinking on how he could solve this slight, unpredicted problem. He then brought his hands to the keyboard, completely blank on ideas.

**Oh, I don't know.. I don't think I'm that pretty..**

Sasuke paused.

He realized there was some truth in that comment.

He _didn't_ think he was attractive. His brother sure was. But _he_ wasn't. Sasuke already knew this.

He shook the thought away, however. This was just an antic. Naruto wouldn't know what was truth and what wasn't. This guy thought Sasuke was a _GIRL_ for fuck's sake.

Haha. Hilarious._ Right.._?

**But anyways, what's up? I'm really bored right now, and I don't have anything to do.**

Sasuke sent the message.

His amusement was starting to disperse. This didn't seem as exciting as before, and he almost decided to shut off his computer and just go to bed. A_ bing_ stopped him in his incoming action.

**Haha! ur funny. Im sure your very pretty. come on, send me a picture. I'll send you one 2 if you want! i just want 2 see how pretty you are. :) im bored 2, but not anymore, since im talking to you.**

Sasuke frowned.

Not a heavy frown, though. He was just uncomfortable at the way the other boy was talking to him.

So affectionate.. and _weird_.

No one had ever talked him like that before. He hardly had any friends to begin with. He had no friends, actually. He didn't allow himself close to anyone.

**No.. I don't think so. Maybe tomorrow? I have to go to sleep soon, anyway. Send me your picture, though. I would like to see it. If you don't mind..**

What the fuck? What the fuck was he doin-

**Fine. :D But i want one of you 2morrow. ill attach it at the bottom.**

There indeed was a picture attached at the bottom.

Sasuke studied it quietly, his previous, devious amusement completely diminished. He was starting to feel kind of bad.. Especially after seeing the photo of the other boy he'd sent him.

Naruto had incredibly blond hair, and his eyes were an indescribable shade of vivid blue. He had odd marks on his cheeks that resembled whiskers, and in the picture, he gave a broad, goofy smile. His skin was a very discrete shade of tan, and there wasn't a single blemish that Sasuke could manage to catch a glimpse of no matter how much he tried.

The raven found himself zooming in on the picture, staring into those glistening, ocean eyes that stared back at him from the screen.

Sasuke couldn't deny it anymore. This guy was very.._ pretty_.

Finally noticing the unhealthy amount of time he'd been staring at the photo, he quickly closed it, and resumed to send the other boy a message. He was still in his disguise, after all. He was still 'Sakura Haruno'. He wasn't Sasuke Uchiha right now.

Everything he said most definitely did _not_ apply to_ him_.

**Wow. You're very handsome.. I'll send you one tomorrow. Promise. Could you send me another tomorrow, too, maybe? I'll be online in the morning.**

_bing_

**Haha thank u! But im sure im nothing compared to how pretty You are. :) i cant wait for your picture. i'll be online waiting for you tomorrow morning. Goodnight, Sakura.**

There was a heart at the end of the message.

Sasuke immediately slammed his laptop closed, frightened of the sudden eradication of his heart within his chest.

What the** _fuck_** was going on?

**oOo**

**Yeahhh.. I really don't know if I'm going to continue this, to be honest.. 0.o Unless a lot of convincing takes place. Until next time, my loves!**


End file.
